As I lie here, feeling of hate and sadness over powers my body. I'm not a stranger to this feeling it is what it is. A feeling of open wounds that will not get healed. As I lie here in my disgust feeling trying to fall asleep work is only a couple hours away. I need sleep. Without sleep no rest no comfort no stillness. I don't want to end up like that. Alone, cold, bitter, no sweetness, no love, nobody to care for no one who will care. Take me from this place it's not worth the headache of staying.
That was a poem that one of my readers sent to me and with her permission I placed it on my blog. I believe it's an awesome poem but some might say it’s dark. I believe these are feelings that people all around the world get everyday. It doesn't matter what creed what race or what sex you are everyone has that side at times. We all try to stay away from it and to ignore it but some provoke it. Mrs. Anonymous wanted me to know how this feeling came over her. She said I want you to read my words and feel it. I'm not a psychiatrist but she sounds really down sounds like she is at her limit. No one said life is easy, it's definitely a challenge. Two weeks ago I tried an experiment and I told myself unless it was life or death I will only stress for 30 minutes of my day. Now understand I don't want to stress at all but I'm taking baby steps towards that. I told myself that I would try and stress at a certain time and let it all out only at that time. I must say it has its benefits. I want my readers to know including Mrs. Anonymous not to let certain feelings overwhelm you and don't let it take over your life. Fear and guilt is like a drug and just like any other drug if you let it, it will take over you. You won't have anything left. Stand tall bold strong and you will overcome it.
Certa Thinking is a blog that takes negative topics and turn them into positive outcomes
Well, I can certainly relate to how Mrs. Anonymous felt when she wrote the poem. In fact, it seems like her words were ripped from own my heart. I know that stressing over situations does not bring about change. But once you have become accustom to abusing yourself in this manner, you almost feel guilty when you don't stress. Please don't misunderstand what I am trying to say... I want to be happy; I really do... Yet, everytime make an attempt to move towards a happy place in my life, what I am seeking evades me. I have been miserable, sad, and lonely for so long that it has become to me a familiar place... Suffice it to say, I have learned to somehow find comfort in it.
ReplyDeleteWelcoming The Refreshing Rain...
ReplyDeleteEvaluate to validate our emotional roller coaster. I dont have a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. 2.Tim.1:7).
Uncovering your basic emotions of stress, depression and/or fear may take some self-discovery. Here are some questions to ask yourself to discover what experiences and values define you:
* What are your important relationships? is it in Jepordy?
* What do you most value in your life? do you fear losing control of it?
* What people give you a sense of community? what would you do without them?
* What inspires you and gives you hope? what if you could never accomplish it?
* What brings you joy? what if it ended tomorrow?
* What are your proudest achievements? what if it was never a reality?
The answers to such questions help you identify the most important people and experiences in your life. With this information, you can focus your search for deepened/self awareness on the relationships and activities in life that have helped define you as a person and those that continue to inspire your personal growth. When something or someone makes us feel empty, stress or depress births fear ...IAMMYBROTHERSKEEPER.
"Too Blessed to be Stressed" Is a term I hear quite often. THough Stree will come I need not embrace it. I look at it then disassociate myself from it. Stress is not mine embrace. Therefore I release it and exhale.......
ReplyDeleteStress can be a great motivator; Stress can allow us to birthout our destiny, push us to the next level of accomplishment. We must accept stress learn from it and graciously release the negative effects that it could have on us.
ReplyDeleteNot to long ago, that poem described my life to a tee. I never thought I could get over everything that had happened. Never thought that I would be geniunely happy again. But here I am. I may not be whole again, I don't think I ever will, but I am happy. I hope Mrs. Anonymous has gotten to the point where she is happy again. If she hasn't, she needs to know she will get there someday. It may take a little bit longer, she may need to break down and hurt more but she will recover. Something broke inside me a few days ago, it felt like what happened happened just the day before. I cried like I cried at the beginning, when it was all fresh but I picked myself up and put everything back in that box in my head and locked it shut. I'll never forget what happened, I don't want too, but I have learned to shut it away, I have learned to let go and move on. I hope Mrs. Anonymous can get to that point with whatever she is coping with.
ReplyDeleteSarah
I am glad to have arrived at CERTA...MMMMMMM...YES...The air of conversation lingers and the breeze of discussion intrigues.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Anonymous, I am without words. Instead, let me use ones that have been my pillow in the dark of night and my leaning wall during the day.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Philippians 4:6 - New International Version
Those words were scribed for use a long time ago, so that yesterday, today and tomorrow they may comfort us.
In grief, in pain, in hurt, IN..I am just sick and tired of this ?#$!, it's very difficult to believe that anyone can empathize with us. I feel that way. OR...Better...Someone's testimony of another's grief does nothing to ease our own hurts...I feel that way too...
So then...we are here..at these last few words..where I sincerely utter.........
Mrs. Anonymous, I will pray to the one who does know your name, your hurts, your needs...I shall pray that he pours out an amazing blessing in your life that's prescribed for you.
"No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; .... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee." - John Doone
You are not alone Dear!
Peace,
Your Brother In Love, In Suffering and In All Things
WELL I KNOW HOW Mrs. Anonymous FEEL... DAMN SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF JUST SITIN THERE THINKIN SO HARD UNTIL I JUST START CRYING.. BECAUSE I WISH I COULD OF DONE SUMTHING DIFF OR THIS WAY... BUT THE ONLY THING FOR US LEFT TO DO IT PRAY ABOUT IT... I FOUND MYSELF IN SO MANY HOLES AN FOR SOME REASON I ALWAYS FOUND MY WAY OUT... AN I THANK GOD FOR IT... AMEN
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