I FINALLY DID IT

When you follow the dream in your heart, you're energized, inspired, and motivated. -Dr. John F. Demartini That's what I did, I wanted to create a magazine that not only inspired me but inspired others as well. Follow me on that path. CERTA MAG is Jacksonville’s newest local magazine looking to shine some light on America’s largest city (land-wise) but with a New York City voice. We here at CERTA want to give you, the reader, a little taste of everything from entertainment to food to local happenings around town. Whether you are a Jacksonville native or just passing through, we hope to give you a little taste of our great city, literally. Not only do we have a great variety of articles pertaining to the everyday woman, but we also offer a snapshot of the latest trends coming out of the world’s fashion capitals. Every city has their best kept secrets, and we here at CERTA are looking for just that. Keep up with the local restaurants you may be skipping over, or the small boutiques you don’t think you can afford. If you see us missing out on something, let us know. To us, the reader is everything. Even though we are a monthly magazine, we here at CERTA MAG are going to keep you informed. Donna Karen once said " Accent your positive and delete your negative" That piece of inspiration is CERTA MAG in a nutshell. We hope to bring you the latest while keeping your spirits up. Feed your entertainment, your bellies, your closets, and your soul with CERTA MAG. CERTA MAG is a magazine you can trust. Your Certa Magazine Issue is waiting for you. www.magcloud.com select stores Jacksonville, Florida Starbucks, French Fry Heaven, Cammi Cake and Yoga Berry

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Certa is still here don't panic!! I was bless with a awesome job blogging for this website http://jax411.com/jVOICE.html . Come and check me out you have a lot to explore. Dont forget to follow me on my journey to NYC my hometown. Awesome fashion tips great food awesome clubs. Get ready it's going to be a blast.

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Letter from lucifer

Letter from Lucifer
 
Did you just graduate with a degree in victimology? Stop acting like a victim. Those things happened to you because you deserve it. You brought it all on yourself.   It’s never too late to drink your sorrows away. What to do? It might be too late the pills are out and the bottle of vodka is halfway gone. Now what do you do when you’re a failure to all those around you? You’re crown has been taking away and you weren’t really mom of the year, you’re a failure and a nobody. You put up a front to all those around you. You choose the men that degrade you and walk all over you. If you were to die tomorrow what would they say at your funeral? Survived by her child, nope try again they would say thank God that child has a chance now to become something, because her mother sure wasn’t. You think you’re with him, are you serious? Stop playing yourself you lost him a long time ago and he lost you. You two are just two heart beats that past here and there. Your his roommate now sh*tyou probably were always his roommate. I guess you just got the lease and it clearly states that you’re just a live in booty call that pays bills here.  Please sign at the bottom line. Yes, girl you signed that contract already. You don't remember it was way back when he caught you cheating on him and he threw is hands up said F THAT AND DIDTHE SAME. You want to talk about the rape and you want to go down that hallway. You deserved it I mean it's not like you looked your age you know you asked for it. You thought they believed you? Hell no they didn't believe you. Your Mom just wasn't there and they didn’t even try to investigate.
 
 Failure, failure, failure you might as well make that vodka bottle turn from half into empty, take those pain killers that you have in the second bathroom upper left cabinet and dissolve them  in that drink. You don’t have anything to live for, nope not your child nope not your family. Nope definitely not those girls you call your friends.  Face it it's no one nobody and you failed terribly
 
 
I know that most of the women you know or even ones you don't know have received this letter. Lucifer sent it overnight just so he can make sure that one of us received it on time. We need to burn it whenever we feel its coming or when it has arrived when the return address says Lucifer himself. I'm here to tell those women think CERTA stay positive think GOD think FRIENDS you’re not a failure and there are people out here that love you. If you are asking where the heck is even one person, I'm here to tell you it starts with GOD, AND IM THE SECOND ONE IN THIS LINE. Just keep your head up and keep going and everything will be ok.
 

Stress or Depress

As I lie here, feeling of hate and sadness over powers my body. I'm not a stranger to this feeling it is what it is. A feeling of open wounds that will not get healed. As I lie here in my disgust feeling trying to fall asleep work is only a couple hours away. I need sleep. Without sleep no rest no comfort no stillness. I don't want to end up like that. Alone, cold, bitter, no sweetness, no love, nobody to care for no one who will care. Take me from this place it's not worth the headache of staying.
 
That was a poem that one of my readers sent to me and with her permission I placed it on my blog. I believe it's an awesome poem but some might say it’s dark. I believe these are feelings that people all around the world get everyday. It doesn't matter what creed what race or what sex you are everyone has that side at times. We all try to stay away from it and to ignore it but some provoke it.  Mrs. Anonymous wanted me to know how this feeling came over her. She said I want you to read my words and feel it. I'm not a psychiatrist but she sounds really down sounds like she is at her limit. No one said life is easy, it's definitely a challenge. Two weeks ago I tried an experiment and I told myself unless it was life or death I will only stress for 30 minutes of my day. Now understand I don't want to stress at all but I'm taking baby steps towards that. I told myself that I would try and stress at a certain time and let it all out only at that time. I must say it has its benefits. I want my readers to know including Mrs. Anonymous not to let certain feelings overwhelm you and don't let it take over your life. Fear and guilt is like a drug and just like any other drug if you let it, it will take over you. You won't have anything left. Stand tall bold strong and you will overcome it.
 
 

White Mocha / Mocha What’s Your Heaven In A Cup?

There is lots of talk about a white man and a black man when it comes to relationships. Is there a difference?  Is it the difference in skin tone you find more attractive than the other? Is it a difference in the way they kiss?
After my survey, I noticed that there were a lot of statements like, a white man is better in a relationship and there is definitely a difference between a black man and white man. I've dated both and at first my reason for dating a white man was to try something different. Some say that white men are more of a gentleman than a black man. Is that really true though?
Some say that a black man is more manly than a white man and that he won't walk away from a fight. Those could be fibs or they could be the truth from other’s experiences.
It's not black man vs. white man, its woman vs. girl. All men of any color are only as good as the woman they are with. Some women can say that they have dated both and preferred a white man instead of a black man or vice versa, to each its own. That's your heaven in a cup and that's what you prefer.
I can say that demographics have a lot to do with it though. It's all on how you were raised and if you continue to keep those standards and values that you were raised with. It’s also been said that a black man puts his woman before anything and a white man puts his career before his woman.
It’s been said that a white man only compensates you financially and then they stop emotionally. That goes back to us as women and what we allow. Don't be easy and give him what he wants. Black or white you must make him work for it. Only a strong, willing, patient mature woman can make a man be a man. I can tell you though that it starts from him wanting to take that step. Black or white at the end of the day a man is still a man. As long as he is treating you right that's what matters.

CROP IT RIGHT

Crop it right

Summer is here, so why not show some skin? Crop tops are one of my favorite things to wear for the summer. It's one of my go to items. I definitely use it for all occasions. It can be worn to dinner, beach, movies, a date, and even graduation. I know you’re probably saying to yourself, how? The key is to crop it right!!!!! Make it fun and cute. There are five steps for wearing a crop top.

First is to pick a length- crop tops come in all lengths. Some are longer than usual and there are some that are very short. Get the length that best fits you. Depending on your torso whether it's short or long there is one for everyone.

Secondly pick your bottoms wisely- your crop top is your core piece depending on what bottom you pick. It can either break or make your outfit. I can tell you that you are not limited, but there are some things that should never be done. Crop tops can be worn with high waisted skirts, high waisted pants or cute linen pants. I myself never limited my bottoms with my crop tops. It seems like I have worn them with everything.

Third is knowing you can definitely layer, layer, and layer some more. I'm not really a fan of showing my stomach but some people are and that's fine. Some might say that’s the purpose of a crop top. I have layered almost every crop top that I have put on. It's fun and it adds spark to your outfit. Some might ask what shirts do I use for layers? Well, you can use tanks or camis that are thin and it really doesn't matter what color. If you don’t want to show your stomach but want that look, a nude tank is cute also or you can have a plain crop and add a colored tank that pops. That bright color would make the outfit be so funky.

Fourth is making sure you crop it appropriate for the venue- crop tops come in different materials, satin, cotton, and even silk. Pick the appropriate one for the occasion. Don't limit yourself to a cotton one for a dressy occasion. That's why the designers now are giving you other options. I don't think your family member or friend that invited you to their graduation would accept you wearing a crop top that you would probably wear at the beach. So let's be wise.

Lastly, let's outfit- Time to put it all together. Get your glass of Barefoot Moscato out, take out your iPod, get your accessories out make sure you have your core piece (crop top), your blazer, your bottom whichever one you’re going to put on for this occasion and get ready to step out and CROP IT RIGHT!!!!!

IS IT STILL POSSIBLE?

IS IT STILL POSSIBLE

The other day I saw a friend of mine that works at Starbucks, she is so sweet bless her heart. My friend is about 63 years old and looks really good I might say.  Anyway, as she was clocking out there was a man sitting on those brown leather comfy couches that Starbucks provides to their customers. Well, he was waiting patiently watching observing but in a kind of I miss you way. Not stalking material at all, but just waiting for her to get off. Well, as she walked towards the door he got up to give her a hug and a kiss. Then she walked over to me and told me bye.

Then she stopped and said Toya I don't think you have met my husband. Of course she introduced me to him. Then my friend said to me with a kind hearted smile and asked, Toya guess how long I have been married to this man? I asked how long? He jumped with joy, not literally but he said 40 years. I said aww that is so sweet as I looked up to them. Then her husband said to me, SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. Marriage is not dead, love is not dead. This column was random but it came from the heart. This Column is for all of my men and women whether you’re in a relationship or single. Love is not dead its real and it's out there and it will find you just be patient. The answer to that question is YES IT IS POSSIBLE!!!

MANS BEST FRIEND

                                          

Definition of a female dog/ man’s best friend.

But I’m not talking about that best friend; it's that other woman I’m talking about. Everything about him made you smile. He took you to his only get away spot. The lake, the trees, and everything about it at that moment was perfect.

He opened up to you like your man should do. You want to be his confidant and his love partner. Most of all you want to be his best friend. Can your man have a female best friend besides you?  Can he have phone conversations with this woman and help her out because he says that she has nobody else there?

There's nothing wrong with him meeting a woman and over time they have become great friends but the important factor to this is they use to date. Guessing from what he tells you it didn't work out between them. Honesty is the best policy and trusting your man is important. You’re not insecure your just trying to get to the bottom of the situation concerning your MANS BEST FRIEND.

Of course it could be awkward for that woman but most of all for his girl. Yes you’re not married but you know women. Some of us already have problems with moms that won't let their sons go so, to have to deal with another woman that is not even related to him and keeps him on his toes more than you is a problem right? I want to know men and women can he have a female best friend and guys same thing applies to you can she have a male best friend? Tell me what you think.

WHAT'S YOUR ROLE?

What's your role? I was asked the other day what’s the role of a woman. I wasn't sure. I mean of course everybody has their own opinion of what a woman’s role is. The answer I gave was probably what society led me to believe and growing up and looking at the women in my life. I know all kinds of women, single, married and even divorced. I looked at the different roles they all had as women.
 
After I started thinking about my answer I still was unsure about what a woman’s role is. Back in the older days women really never had much of a voice. They were known as breeders, house wives and other things. They were told to stay in the kitchen, don't work, keep the house clean, and make sure that it's a cooked meal on the dinner table every night. Don't forget the most important thing (well it is to me) is to raise the kids. What is our role really? oh how times have changed. Back in the day women weren't in the workforce like they are today. Now, there are so many successful women that have the roles of mom and superior roles in the work place. These important women even have men looking up to them.
Should it be equal or should women reverse roles?
 
I know some men that are great cooks and are in relationships where their cooking more and not only are they proud of it but they are happy. Should it be equal when it comes to cleaning and cooking and raising the kid? Let me know what your interpretation of a women's and a man’s role.
 

BREACH OF CONTRACT

BREACH OF CONTRACT

If you decide that you aren’t ready for a relationship but you have physical needs that need to be fulfilled. That’s an unemotional contract.  An UN emotional contract, an agreement between two parties with mutual physical obligations that can’t be broken. This means no emotions should be involved, no jealousy, no love, no snuggling, and no feelings that aren’t physical. Have you ever had a sign of any of these?

Its 2011 and most women don’t have the patience for dating, arguments, or those funny feelings you get when you start to have feelings for him.  The other reason is we are just too busy, well at least that’s what we tell ourselves. Who wouldn’t want that guy that you have been friends with through good and bad, the guy that you can be yourself around any time, the one you can talk to about anything and everything. You’re totally honest with each other and you fulfill both of your physical needs with no strings attached. It’s just plain fun.

We all know that when dating sometimes it’s a toss of a coin if this guy or girl is really going to be the same person through the whole dating process and a real relationship if that happens. When you have that unemotional contract you have a mutual agreement that both of you agreed to. The rules are your both free to meet and date other people and the number one rule is there can’t be any emotional attachment between the two with contracts. We live in a microwave society when everything happens quickly. I believe that when you do sign up for the unemotional contract a breach of contract ends up appearing. Emotions are never planned, but they can taint this contract. This “friend” is the one you can be honest with and have fun at the same time, so why wouldn’t feelings come about remember you’re only human.

What do you do when that contract has been breached? What do you do when the contract is broken by you or the other party? You get jealous when you see him out at dinner with other women or he sees you flirting with a guy at an event you both attended. The rules are broken now and what was so sweet is becoming sour. Do you tell him how you feel and let go and let love, or do you stay binded to that unemotional contract?

Have any of you ever signed up for an unemotional contract? Have you ever had a friend with benefit situation that has turned into something with substance? Let me know.

 

Do I Really Want A Ring On It

For some women putting a ring on it means losing their single friends and losing that fun party life. Society believes that men are scared of commitment, well that might be true. Now, some women are getting scared like some men because of what the new life entails and the single friends that are leaving behind.

The message that women usually hear is: Marriage is the holy grail of happiness. Do you still believe that? Remember those strong feelings you had when dating him? How long should you wait before texting him back? Is he thinking about you? What did he mean when he made that comment? It seems silly now that he has popped the question.

 It’s crazy how we allow society to let us believe that if we are single happiness eludes us.  What about those friends that are in relationships and they start wondering that their boyfriends don’t love them enough to pop the question? It’s weird because you want your friends that have been with you through the ups and downs and even the trials and tribulations that you went through with him to be by your side through this happy moment.

Can these women comfort you only when you’re miserable?  Who wants to believe that your besties that have been with you through all the breakups are going to have a hard time being happy for you? Then you begin to realize  It’s really not so bad after all, because the  friends you have that are married that you weren’t so happy for at a time start to come out of nowhere to comfort you and tell you the positive outcomes that come out of him wanting you to be his wife. Then those besties get over that feeling of not being that happy for you and start to be there for you.

 Do you really want a ring on it, sure you do!

How Do You Know

                                                                HOW DO YOU KNOW?
He tells you that he loves your moles, even the ones he hasn’t discovered as of yet.  He loves your chill bumps on your skin when you get cold. He tells you that he is not perfect. How do you know?
When you finally meet that guy that you and your friends discuss is your dream man over dinner or a girls night out, what do you do when he is standing right in front of you? How do you know? You ask yourself is he this sweet and does he tell you all of this because he is just lame or trying to play you? Or could he be on the down low? How do you know?  When the man that stands in front of you tells you that he wants to make a life with you and he knows that you have been hurt before and that you fired all of the other men in your life and this is one job he does not want to lose. How do you know? Just when it seems like it’s the right time that he has come into your life you make excuses and tell yourself that it’s a bad thing when you know it’s not.  When you are waiting for this man to make a mistake so you can feel better and decide to finally open up, how do you know? You’re so use to getting hurt and messed around on that this man can give you so many compliments you think something is wrong. He is strong, smart, caring, a family man and no drama. He wants to be there for you. He is a man in so many ways from him building his way from nothing to an important person. How Do You Know?
Ladies and gentlemen this is a very special column for me. I would like for you to reply to this column. Are you that women now or ever been or even that man? because it happens to all of us. Tell me How Do You Know?

 

 

Thank You

I just want to thank everyone that supported me by coming on my blog, reading it and posting your comments. I loved every ones response you all had a valid point. Please feel free to let your friends and family know about it, so that they are able to comment as well. CERTA Thinking is a blog that takes negative topics and turns them into positive outcomes. Enjoy the topics that are brought to your attention and feel free to post on the wall or in my mailbox, so that I can share your thoughts with other bloggers. I hope you enjoy the topics and I look forward to reading your responses!

Why Can’t Successful Black Women Find A Man?
I make more money than he does, he’s intimidated by me and my money comes first and love comes second.  Growing up as a little girl I was always taught not to have a baby till your married, go to college and get a good job first. When you’re a black girl or a black woman you try your hardest not to be a statistic and to be successful. Now, every little girl is not told that! I don’t believe that’s the reason why black women can’t find a man but it can be a factor. Just like those false statements, most women and men would say that in a partnership/relationship that her making more than him is a problem but it shouldn’t be. A relationship is a partnership and both individuals should be treated equally despite how much more she makes than him. In my opinion, I don’t believe that most men are intimidated by black women. When you meet  a woman that has her head on right and is making six figures, I say be yourself and don’t let that bother you. Some women believe putting love first will only slow them down but it’s ultimately her choice if she wants to put it second. A good or bad relationship is what you make it just like everything else in life. If you fall in love & forget about your career it’s no one’s fault. It’s just life.

 

WELCOME

HELLO BLOGGERS,