BREACH OF CONTRACT
If you decide that you aren’t ready for a relationship but you have physical needs that need to be fulfilled. That’s an unemotional contract. An UN emotional contract, an agreement between two parties with mutual physical obligations that can’t be broken. This means no emotions should be involved, no jealousy, no love, no snuggling, and no feelings that aren’t physical. Have you ever had a sign of any of these?
Its 2011 and most women don’t have the patience for dating, arguments, or those funny feelings you get when you start to have feelings for him. The other reason is we are just too busy, well at least that’s what we tell ourselves. Who wouldn’t want that guy that you have been friends with through good and bad, the guy that you can be yourself around any time, the one you can talk to about anything and everything. You’re totally honest with each other and you fulfill both of your physical needs with no strings attached. It’s just plain fun.
We all know that when dating sometimes it’s a toss of a coin if this guy or girl is really going to be the same person through the whole dating process and a real relationship if that happens. When you have that unemotional contract you have a mutual agreement that both of you agreed to. The rules are your both free to meet and date other people and the number one rule is there can’t be any emotional attachment between the two with contracts. We live in a microwave society when everything happens quickly. I believe that when you do sign up for the unemotional contract a breach of contract ends up appearing. Emotions are never planned, but they can taint this contract. This “friend” is the one you can be honest with and have fun at the same time, so why wouldn’t feelings come about remember you’re only human.
What do you do when that contract has been breached? What do you do when the contract is broken by you or the other party? You get jealous when you see him out at dinner with other women or he sees you flirting with a guy at an event you both attended. The rules are broken now and what was so sweet is becoming sour. Do you tell him how you feel and let go and let love, or do you stay binded to that unemotional contract?
Have any of you ever signed up for an unemotional contract? Have you ever had a friend with benefit situation that has turned into something with substance? Let me know.
Certa Thinking is a blog that takes negative topics and turn them into positive outcomes
I think that it is impossible for a women to have a sexual relationship with someone and not catch feelings. When a women decides to make the choice to have sex it has to be something there for her to have made that decision anyway. To make it worse is that if u are comfortable with him and communicate well and have this connection of couse a women would be jealous if someone else is in the picture. I think anyone with a contract is bound to break it.Hey..u cant stop or hide feelings so you can eiter just be friends with that person or be with that person.
ReplyDeleteI plead the fifth! Happy blogging :-D Seriously tho I feel like women should be grown and know what they're getting into.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in the contracts that are spoken of here. If you don't want a relationship, then don't have one. I believe the "just friends" situations are a type of relationship as well. When you become physical with someone there are always feelings that are going to be there for one or the other. There are better alternatives if you just need the physical pleasure, and ones that don't jeopardize they "friends" feelings.
ReplyDeleteI believe in friends with benefits. I think its great- no relationship or commitment involved (if thats what you want). Ive had friends with benefits, and never had any feelings for them. I also believe in relationships though. Relationships are better than friends with benefits because in a relationship there are emotions involved, and you and that person are there for each other-mentally and physically. Friends with benefits are good for people who don't want commitment at that point in their life, and I think almost everybody goes through things and don't want relationships at some point in their lives.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. I think that this breach is something that happens so much these days. Many people neglect their TRUE happiness for temporary satisfaction. Just as you stated, we're human and sex is definitly emtional in my book. We women try to act like we're down for whatever to keep the peace but i'll bet money that 99.9% of the people in a contract have willingly or unwillingly breached it!!!
ReplyDeleteAlthough Friends with benefits isn't entirely impossible it is however hard as hell to accomplish without someone catching feelings for the other person involved.Speaking from personal experience no matter how many rules your specific contract has they are going to be broken by at least one of the individuals."Friends with benefits" is probably the greatest idea ever created but its really not a great idea when both individuals aren't responsible or mature enough to handle to emotional stress that goes along with the relationship.
ReplyDelete2Peachy4u85
ReplyDeleteThis supposed contract is not a legal document.Even marriages are legal and religiously declared but there are more and more divorces everyday! SO if you cannot handle the pressure dont turn the dial on the hose!!!
When it comes to love ladies (no offense to male readers) men are like stray animals. Once you feed them they stick around unless you dont know what u workin with lol. Why do we think we have to impress men? If you got the goods then make them do all the work. Lesson 1: We are the tool. Men just know how it works and how to use what we got. Lesson 2: Dont think you have mind control over your life because the truth is... EVERYTHING is exciting the first time around! Ohhhh Yessss can I get some witnesses. I can tell you some stories but this is not my blog! Lol It's TOYA'S! (You know who this is.)
When things get heated they get hot in more places than the bedroom. Some start drowning themselves. These feelings are not noticeable for the more intelligent because we think we can handle ourselves. It's sad when this situation happens because sometimes children are involved or a third and fourth party which makes things even more complicated. No one wants to be hurt but in the end the contract is breached and what was there is no longer. Whether you are angry or hurt in the end... Lesson 3: You can never fully trust anyone!
As a female i have had male friends that i became emotionally attached to> I never told them about my feelings and i don't believe in this friend with benefits relationships. As a woman i find it hard to become sexually involve with someone you know as a friend without emotions playing a role. I think if you have a friend that you are comfortable with and consider them to be a friend you shoild be able to tell them any and everthing including how you feel about them emotionally. I don't believe in friends with benefits. I think this is a cop-out for people who are afraid to get involve and the easy way out is to get involve in these types of relationship.
ReplyDeleteNo way a contract like this can start and end smoothly. People think you can box emotions up and put them away. People can say what they want. Women can say what they want, men can say what they want. From a man's perspective. Sharing intimate conversations and divulging secrets, THEN mixing it with something as intimate as sex is going to lead to emotions building up.
ReplyDeleteMen may not say it, but sex with the same person more than 3x is hazardous for his spirit. No way that happens, he sees her flirting with another man and he just KIM (keeps it moving). It means something. A man opening up means something. Trust is established and that is HARD to establish. Women tend to forget that conversation goes a long way, especially if a man opens up about himself. Soooo to have that time of relationship as the foundation, THEN adding the RAW unadulterated intensity of sex, no way it's going to just be contractual. He may say it for the sake of pride, but no way he means it with his heart.
Men want to conquer. Conquering the body is great, but why not her heart and mind? Knowing that someone else has the potential to fulfill those other 2/3 is a travesty. Why do I only get the physical? I want the whole pie.
Solution. Put it on the line. What do you have to lose? Sex and convo is already on point (unless the sex isn't). No need to torture yourself in the dark when they explain how great their last date was and how perfect they are for them. If you want a raise from your boss, more than likely you're going to let it be known. Why should the rules change for potential relations?
Squeaky wheel gets the oil.
If you're feeling a person on another level, go for it. If they're cool with it, great, if not, it's a humongous world with plenty of other people who'd love to fill the shoes as the significant other. Life is WAAAAAAY to short to not take a chance. Live life. Not taking risks equates to not living life.
I don't believe in unemotional contracts
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is impossible for women and some men to keep a contract like this without breaking it. Most men will happily jump a the chance to have a relationship like this with no strings attach and some women will go with it but only for a short period of time. The reason why this type of contract won't work is that women associate sex with intimacy so therefore their emotional barriers starts breaking down, especially if the sex is really, really good. Men can have a dozen of these contracts and won't bat an eye since all his sexual needs are being met by one or more of these contracts. The one thing that will cause him to break the contract is when he starts connecting on a more intellectual and emotional level. This right there will spell doom for the contract.
ReplyDeleteApril 13, 2011-Response to Blog on Relationships (Breech of Contract)
ReplyDeleteNow that I am a little older, a little wiser I realize that marriage is meant for life. Finding that one special person is not like buying a pair of shoes. I believe that men and women who think they can entertain the idea of this unemotional contract, while seeing other people, well I think they are already headed for an emotional roller coaster worldwide.
You have to be true to who you are as an individual before you can even consider the possibility of a relationship. As women we grew with the idea of the all American dream. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect husband and then we wanted the perfect children. Nothing in this life is concrete, but there a rock you can put your trust in, and that is God. He is the maker of all creation and when he sends that Mr. or Mrs. Wright your way the evidence will be crystal clear, but only if you have his will planned and stamped for your life.
During the 11th grade prom of my first born when I encountered the plan of the parents of the young girl who my son was taking to the prom, it went like this. Her mom clearly told her that if either of you plan to drink after prom, please don't drive, give someone call, for a ride. My son turned to me and before he could ask the question, he already knew the answer. I had a little different take on the subject of drinking. Before he left for the prom I made four statements. 1) I Love you 2) Treat your date with respect and you will be respected. 3) Make me proud and last but not least, 4) Don't drink and you can get home the same way you left, sober and driving.
Young people don't plan for dating; most of them plan for sex. Look at all the planning that goes into it. The hair, the shoes, the cloths and lets not forget the nails. A contract is meant to be broken. A covenant if meant for life.
This response is in no way meant to be judgemental in any form of the imagination.
Remember, I am a little older and a little wiser.
It's been said, if you hang out in a barber shop long enough, sooner or later you will get a hair cut.
Susie