Why Can’t Successful Black Women Find A Man?
I make more money than he does, he’s intimidated by me and my money comes first and love comes second. Growing up as a little girl I was always taught not to have a baby till your married, go to college and get a good job first. When you’re a black girl or a black woman you try your hardest not to be a statistic and to be successful. Now, every little girl is not told that! I don’t believe that’s the reason why black women can’t find a man but it can be a factor. Just like those false statements, most women and men would say that in a partnership/relationship that her making more than him is a problem but it shouldn’t be. A relationship is a partnership and both individuals should be treated equally despite how much more she makes than him. In my opinion, I don’t believe that most men are intimidated by black women. When you meet a woman that has her head on right and is making six figures, I say be yourself and don’t let that bother you. Some women believe putting love first will only slow them down but it’s ultimately her choice if she wants to put it second. A good or bad relationship is what you make it just like everything else in life. If you fall in love & forget about your career it’s no one’s fault. It’s just life.
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ReplyDeleteWhy can't a Successful black woman find a man? the Answer because they wont settle for ex-convicts or janitors. Because to find a black man we either have to settle for less or find a ex-con. No thank you. There are other nationality out there indian chinese white; mexican anything but a ex-con...
ReplyDeleteWow this question can be answered in so many ways. I mean a woman is so difficult to please. One minute they want a thug the next a good guy. Make up your mind then look for a man A Real Man. I feel like successful women don't won't man with a 9-5, because they feel like he can't do for her what she can do for herself!! Understandable but I feel like love should not have a price on it.
ReplyDeleteI Think if you put love second its ok and it what you want and that if you know what you want in life is a good thing. It may just be that it will take time to find someone and it will probally be when your not expecting it. I think you should know what you want in a man and stick with it.
ReplyDeleteI think that successful black women forget how to b submissive. Its nothing wrong with making money but women can't let it dictate who runs the household. A relationship is a team and women must let a man feel like a man no matter how successful you Are!
ReplyDeleteAs a woman, i'll be honest i would feel some kinda way about making SIGNIFICANTLY more money than my man. I mean talking 000's more! However, also as a woman, i do know a mans place is at the head of the household. I grew up in this scenario, female being the main source of income but I never even thought to look down at my father figure because he still wore the pants! With that being said, successful black women, in my opinion, cant find a man beacause they may feel that if they're the bread-winner & signing over the checks, then the situation is role-reversed and the male needs to follow suit and get in the kitchen... A man being a man, that wont work well with his ego.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't a successful Black women find a man? In my opinion because men act like there scared, intimidated, or don't understand a strong successful black women. On the other hand, women tend to forget to let a man be a man, & I believe that is head of household whether he makes more income or not.
ReplyDeleteI feel some successful black women dont want a man.They feel like they can do it all on their own and are just too INDEPENDENT. In my opinion, they dont give a man a chance because of what is in his pocket.Money isnt everything and being happy is more important.How about that successful black woman help her man to get just as successful as she is.That woman will continue to be single as long as she isnt open minded about what is real.Times are different now and women are sometimes the bread winner in the relationship but you shouldnt make your man feel less of a man because of that.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I feel that successful women, whether they're black, white, Hispanic,etc, can't find a man b/c we as women have an unrealistic notion of what a man/spouse/significant other should be. We have this fantasy that our man should be prince charming that will ride in at sunset and sweep us off of our feet with romantics, and material things. Yes, these things are very desirable, but not reality. Your partner should be your best friend, your lover, your soul mate. I think if we could look past the material things, and look for the things that really matter money won't be such an issue.
ReplyDeleteI think this is very interesting, could it be that we ourselves are not looking for the right men or that our ego gets so big all of a sudden we want perfection when we are not perfect ourselves.As a black latina myself I have also asked my self those questions but I have come to the conclusion that yes there are great men in general in this world we just have to be great women to get great men....
ReplyDeleteVery good topic but not too difficult to understand. So this is what i think...WAIT ON THE LORD AND GOOD THINGS WILL COME! I think that a lot of people fail to realize that we are not in control of our own lives. I believe that watever God has in store for us is what shall be. We need to be patient and not settle because we're getting old, time is passing by, everyone has a man but me...We can go on and on about a "good man or good woman" I'd rather be alone than settle for less. Any good and real man will a appreciate a good woman no matter how much she makes because in the end it is a partnership and when they marry they will be one. As a woman if it did turn out that I make more than my partner no matter what I will still make him feel like the man that he is. It all goes back to the above statement, God is not going to bless you with a man who is not for you anyways so it's really just a matter of which path you decide to follow.
ReplyDeleteFor those who desire to gain some knowledge from an experienced woman why WOMEN can't find man actually depends on personality.
ReplyDeleteAll women aren't on the same level and are all at different points in their life. Some seem to be moving forward and others back. Maybe backwards and forwards. Whatever the case just read and I promise you will find something rings a bell.
There is the pleaser. This woman that goes out of her way to keep men happy no matter how the reality of the situation may be. She always ends up emotionally scarred and out of a lot of money!* Advise be yourself. Don't do nothing you don't want to no matter how giving you are. Then there is the Basher. Lady rarely gets any because of her attitude and always finds herself lonely but in everyones affairs.*Advice you willnever find a man if you make men thinks you don't need sex. The Controller wears the pants in the relationship.She know she don't need a man and fells as if she has the right to let him know how she "really feels" constantly reminding him of his place in her life.*Advice If you don'r need him why waist your time? Let him have his manhood. And last there is the Avoider. Trust issue got her on her stillettoes taking off. She thinks giving men more than just a few flings set her up for disaster.*Advice STOP RUNNING! You will miss out on a good man.
the last comment from 2PEACHY4U
ReplyDeleteFeel free to reply
From a young age I was taught that a man takes care of his woman, and these ideas that my husband should be older than me, taller than me, and make more money than me somehow got instilled in me along the way. For the longest I believed that I would not want to be with a man if he didn't make more money than me, but now that I'm older I see that that can't be the way I think about love. I know a lot of my other black female friends who are in college with me and on their way to success have grown up with these same ideas as me. I know that men are intimidated by a successful woman, and that takes up most of the reason why a black woman has a hard time finding her prince charming. I can say for myself that I do have high standards for my future husband, because I am a hardworker who will be successful, and in this world today that could be asking for a lot....
ReplyDeleteIjus think that its all a personal opinion. Some men may think they need to make more then the woman and vice versa but as well know the man is the head of the household so he takes care of the finances. But if he is making enough to cover the household and the family and have money left over for whatever then how much the wife makes shouldnt matter bcuz the man is taking caring of the family on his own even if he isnt making more then the woman. If it intimidates the man or what not then its all on how that man perceives himself and life and responsibiltites.
ReplyDeleteWell honestly, successful black women have a hard time finding a man because we dont really know what we want. We Say we want a man that repects us and treats us like a queen but at the same time we dnt knw our self worth. Too many times when we do recognize our self worth we hang it over our spouse heads and belittle him. Majority of the black race comes from a single-parent household. The point is alot of us havent been taught how to let a man be a man; and how to lead from behind. Also, we have to remember that the male species have ego's that never seem to go away or go down. Maybe at the same token we are looking at boys and not men. Not listening to our inner selves and looking at the signs of a persons character. Just b/c a man has money doesnt mean he is all the way together and has good qualities. And just b/c a man is an ex-con dsnt mean he is worthless. We have to stop labeling our men and ourselves in order to truely be w/ that man that is for us. Stepping out of the box and just loving being a woman is what will help us find our mate....
ReplyDeleteI have read the comments posted. This is coming from a man. I don't think that many black women let the good men be men. They always say they need this and they need that. I think that, yes, a man should act like a man. But a relationship is a partnership. I think that respect should be at the forefront. Let the man lead if he is doing so, if not, find another guy and quit complaining. There are enough women and men to go anound, just keep looking. CAP.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they don't want to be found? Especially if they are not looking for you. First we must be true to thyself. Education of the world lends you worldly exceptance, by opening worldy doors that still comes with limitations. Check the climate in your home and change the atmosphere. The problem is not finding the man, the problem is changing the atmosphere of your soul. Purging the soul will rid ourselves of desperation, selfishness and pride. Stop looking. This doesn't mean wait on God, it means keep working on you. By getting the soul in check the body begins to walk in the spirit and believe it or not the spirit realm is where all our positive energy flows. Prosperity does not mean money? It is happiness, health and truly having a relationship with God. Not just being save, but seeking daily salvation. When you walk in the spirit, you don't judge where a man has been. Jesus was in prison and many other wonderful men of God. Some do have character defects I know I have been there! testimony 101, a must read. WWW.IAMMYBROTHERSKEEPER.ORG. How could anyone ever change with being labeled or why would they want to. Remember with the Grace and Mercy of God we are all Kings and Queens. Remain content check your atmosphere and be generous in spirit. Were never alone, But God I know a Man that is not only looking for you, but never lie and is unchanging, Jesus, but you already know that. God Bless! ladies this is for you love ya..http://www.teaherway.org/PROVERBS.html
ReplyDeleteEasy..either they r looking 2 much or they aren't looking in the right places. I found my man (an educated black man) at school. You can also find nice educated guys at places like church.
ReplyDeleteI like what Rodney King Said..Simple put "Why cant we all just get along" TO do so means we need to give and take as a matter of fact Give Give GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE and take. Relationship between a man and a woman require selfless ness. The sad thing is that we are born selfish and when are just selfish Humand beings We were never taught how to be selfless. Its a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. IF selfishness is broken, we can love unconditionally and get along with each other.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great Conversation. Women also have this idealism, when we find a good man either he is not good looking enough; he doesnt have enough money; or we dont like the clothes he wear; All these things are external; I never hear someone say; His soul is corrupt his values are not right; its always the things that are superficial and does not matter in the long run.
ReplyDeleteGoodness have nothing to to with anything material. Too often we reject what is good because the package is not what we expect. When packaging is temporary and can be changed. check his spirit and soul to find a good man
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